...

first kinda personal post, sorry yall. ill make the next one less heavy.

recently ive kinda noticed how much ive distanced myself to people recently. irl at least, i rarely really talk to people. half of the reason is because truthfully, i feel as if i currently have no purpose in life (as edgy as that sounds :/). in fact, i kinda hate summer due to this fact. its been the same for the past couple of summers ... i stay at home and rot all day (but specifically with june, i also go to summer school. but immediately after school i usually just. do nothing.). i hate this constant loop i go through everyday but it feels like there isnt much i can change about it. i could always technically hang out with friends and stuff but it feels like i never have the courage to actually message them and make plans with them. and plus, surely they have cooler friends to hang out with. and i feel like i would be kinda unfun to hang out with right now. im not exactly in the right mind set to be seeing anyone other than my family, truthfully. my social battery really just isnt the best.

i kinda feel like an alien.